JOKE DAW! Where is it? - All-in-One Pinoy Community Forums & Chat

1. YnaKi - An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: "Ano
sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?" Contestant: "Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?"

2. Idlepsych - It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said
this: "Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff..." (dapat laughing matter)

3. Myckle Mouse - In Wowowee, the question was: "Kung ang 'sigaw'
ay 'shout' sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang 'whisper'?" The
contestant answered: "Napkin!"

4. Dongster - While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed
by a bulldozer, our maid commented: "Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh..."

5. No name - My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our
schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: "Imagine mo kung di ginawa
'tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?"

6. Ker - My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: "Miss, puwedeng take out?"
7. Loipogi - Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: "Please watch
'The Life Story of Julie Vega', opening na po on the twenty-twoth of
November." (dapat twenty seconth)

8. Frederique - In a burger joint I heard a man say: "Miss, isa
ngang 'amusing' aloha at saka 'kidney' meal." Server: "Dine in po ba or
to go?" The man answered: "Ayoko ng sago!"

9. No name - I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie
sheets, so I called our maid and said: "Manang bili ka nga ng cookie
sheet." And she replied: "Ano po, solo o litro?" (coke is it!)

10. Marissa - My friend said: "Ang galing 'no, yung Ash Wednesday
last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!"

11. Jasmin - A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting:
"Ma'am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, 'jesus and Company."

12. No name - While watching "Apollo 13?, after she heard the line:
"Houston, we have a problem." My ex-girlfriend asked: "Sino si Houston?"

(houston is the communication center)

13. Dukeman - My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told
us: "Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng 'autistic' guitar. Saan ba nakakabili
nun?" (dapat acoustic)

14. No name - We were marketing for an org event, when one of my
orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major,
Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: "Lola, anong mas mataas
sa Patron?" Her lola replied: "Patron? Eh di Shell!"

15. Ardiepot - Also in a gameshow. Host: "Ano sa Tagalog ang
'teeth'?" Contestant: "Utong!"

16. Missy Ricat - I once heard an emcee say: "Let's give her a warm
of applause!"

17. Epoy - One classmate in highschool said, "Ang cute naman ng
sintas mo, luminou!" I corrected him and said, "luminous!" Then he
replied, "Oo nga pala, plural!"

18. No name - Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao,
Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!" Pasahero: "Boss, Cubao?"

19. Jen - Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: "Anong 'P' ang
Tagalog ng 'storey' o 'floor' ng building?" Contestan: "PIP PLOR!"

20. No name - An officemate of ours told us a story about driving
alone in her car: "Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko...wala akong
kasama..."

21. Rome - I had a customer on the line who had a password on his
account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue:
"It's a 4-digit number." He answered, "Uhm...'ROCKY'?"

22. Slowbyslow - I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks:
"One cup of chino please." (dapat capuchinno)

23. Ever - An officemate once asked: "Saan sa Quezon City ang
Mandaluyong?"

24. Asht - I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of
us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: "Uy, stripes din! It's
the color of the day!"

25. Ruby - My sister said of our neighbor who was our arch enemy:
"Mamatay na sana kapitbahay natin!" I told her not to say that, coz it
might bounce back to us. Then she said, "Ah ganun ba yun? In that case,
mamatay na sana tayo!"

26. "I assure you Pacman will always win against cotto. Of course he now use Head and Shoulders. NO DANDRUFF MEANS NO COTTO! Simple as That! Yo! agree? or disagree?"

27. aling dionisia: manny, pakiabot nga ng seeds ko. manny: bakit ma? magtatanim ka sa garden? aling dionisia: hinde! nasisilaw ako!